The ancient Roman Stoic philosopher, Seneca, taught people to take a cosmic view of life. Rather than losing perspective by getting swallowed up in the here and now, he thought people benefit when they view their lives from above (this view is beyond a mere bird's eye). Doing so not only helps people to see their lives and themselves more realistically, but also casts a measure of perspective on occurrences which seem perpetual, monumental, and overwhelming.

What do you see when you view your life from above?

Pick your favorite star and take a seat on it. Now, open your eyes and look down.

Notice the enormity of the world and how everything is connected. The ocean's waves come up to the shores and return to mix with the waters they left behind. Like emotions, they swell, crash down and then settle into themselves; sometimes they lie low, with all their power beneath the surface, waiting for a chance to express their energy and force. Look at Mount Saint Helens. Do you see how the areas that were annihilated are not permanently destroyed? Flowers are sprouting, new roots are taking hold. The cycle of life spins around and around in every part of the world you now view, and you -- in your little spot, doing that thing called life -- are part of this vast and ever changing whole.

Do you see the:

Pick a specific challenge, situation or relationship from your life and view it from above.

Ask yourself:

1. How do I feel and what do I think about this situation?
2. If this situation were something I created so that I can learn from it, what did I want to learn?
3. What does my response to this situation teach me about myself?
4. How would I like to respond to this challenge?
5. What opportunities for growth does this experience bring to both me and my child?
6. How can I use this knowledge to further myself in ways that benefit me?

Challenge: I have no time for myself.

1. How do I feel and what do I think about this situation?

I feel overwhelmed and physically exhausted a lot of the time. It's like I'm running in circles and I can't stop, even if it's just to figure out what I should be doing differently. I feel like I have to devote all of my time to my son, especially since I'm not working - it's like I don't deserve to do anything for myself because I don't have a job and am 'only' staying at home with a baby.

2. If this situation were something I created so that I can learn from it, what did I want to learn?

I want and need to learn that I am of value, that I deserve to treat myself well whether I am working or not (as if staying home with a baby isn't working!), and that my child will be better off with a mom who cares for herself.

3. What does my response to this situation teach me about myself?

I realize that my belief system doesn't serve me well. I think that I have to put my child first and that if I don't, I'm being selfish and my child will suffer. I also see that I depreciate the job of being a mom. Because I don't take in just how challenging and worthwhile it is, I allow myself no time for refueling or "rewards", like coffee with a friend.

4. How would I like to respond to this challenge?

I would like to stop my crazy thinking, to slow down, and to take time for myself.

5. What opportunities for growth does this experience bring to both me and my child?

I have the opportunity to derive my feelings of self-worth from within myself, instead of getting them from trying to be a perfect mother, and to let go of my harsh and critical thinking. My daughter will benefit when she sees a healthy female role model: a woman who values herself, who treats herself with love and respect, and who believes that what she does is worthwhile.

6. How can I use this knowledge to further myself in ways that benefit me?

Taking care of myself will move me forward in so many ways: I will become more self loving and feel better day to day; I will teach my child to care for and value herself; and I will know that I am valuable just because I'm me.

Viewing your life from above, will help you to see your present circumstances in perspective, and to understand yourself and your situation better. With the knowledge you attain, you will be able to take action not only to come through your present challenge, but to further yourself in ways that you desire.

Click here to see how a view from above helped Alison deal with weaning baby Sarah!

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