Julie's Question:

Ever since I had my baby, my eating disorder has reared its vicious head. I'm not bulimic like I used to be, but I find that I am obsessing about food most of the time and that I overeat even though all I want to do is lose weight. I am so scared that I'm going to get worse and pass this on to my daughter, like my mother (a chronic dieter and bulimic) passed it on to me. What should I do?

Claudia's Response:

An eating disorder is an addiction. Like alcoholism, it is a physiological, psychological and, perhaps, spiritual disease. Knowing your predisposition for an eating disorder, it makes sense that the stress of having a baby -- the physical and emotional stress, not to mention what having a little girl may have brought up for you in terms of your own relationship with your mother -- has brought it to the fore.

I think it's great that you can admit that you have a problem and are looking for ways to deal with it!

The first thing that I want to say is that I'm not a psychologist, so I will give you a life coach's (my) point of view:

To deal with something as critical as an eating disorder, I recommend that you seek outside help.

Your choices include (but are not limited to) going to Overeaters Anonymous, a program and support group that helps people to recover from compulsive overeating, anorexia, bulimia, and compulsive exercising, or to seek help from a qualified therapist/counselor (or both).

No matter what choice you make about where to seek help, you will have to do work on a physical, psychological, and (perhaps) spiritual front.

Physical recovery usually requires staying away from foods and behaviors that trigger you. Many people who suffer from eating disorders have certain foods -- sugar, wheat, refined flour, etc. -- and certain behaviors -- eating at the refrigerator, picking throughout the day, skipping meals, etc. -- which make them want to eat more (and more and more).

Ask yourself:

What are my typical binge foods?

To recover psychologically from an eating disorder takes time. Not only do you have to come to terms with why you became bulimic, but you also have to find new, healthy ways to cope with the feelings and stresses that compel you to overeat: giving up your eating disorder means both letting go of a part of your identity, and finding healthy ways to cope with life's ups and downs. Both Overeaters Anonymous and therapy can help you both to sort through the psychological issues which cause you to overeat and to come up with healthy strategies to deal with life.

Many people who suffer from eating disorders find that increasing their spiritual life helps them to recover. This does not mean that you have to become religious, or even that you have to believe in god. It means that you have to seek help from something outside of yourself in order to feel spiritually well. The term for a power greater than oneself that OA uses is a "higher power" (in the program you get to define this power for yourself: it can be god, the group, nature, etc.). The goal is to be led by your higher power, so that the choices you make are both spiritually fit and in line with your integrity and with universal well being

Feel proud of yourself for taking the first step (asking your question) on your road towards recovery, a road which will lead to both your own and your daughter's health and well being.

SEND YOUR FIRST TIME MOM QUESTIONS TO: claudia@significantself.com

________________________________________________