The holidays are here and lots of new moms are taking their babies to family events. Although these occasions are often filled with joy and love -- cuddles, kisses, and coos going to the little one -- new moms often complain of how difficult it is not only to deal with their own families, but also to deal with all of the people who want to get their hands on, and give advice about, their babies (or toddlers).

What's a new mom to do?

1. Set firm boundaries.

If your mother, father, mother-in-law, sister or aunt feels it's their right to tell you how you should be raising your child, let them know (with all the sweetness that you can muster) that although you appreciate their experience and expertise, you would feel grateful if they kept their views to themselves. Tell them that you have thought long and hard about what you are doing (co-sleeping, sleep training, whatever), and that your pediatrician supports your parenting technique. If you find that drawing a line feels too uncomfortable, just say "Thank you so much for your advice," and change the subject (or excuse yourself to get a drink or go to the bathroom).

2. Warn relatives in advance if your baby is experiencing separation anxiety.

Let those who love your baby know if s/he is having an issue with separation anxiety so that they won't take it personally. Instruct people about how to deal with your baby, so that your child doesn't end up clinging and in tears. If people don't rush in and try to pick up your child, s/he is more likely to go to those people when s/he feels comfortable and ready.

3. Take a break.

If you or your baby is finding all the hoopla overwhelming, find a quiet spot so that you can have time alone. Go to an empty bedroom, or even the bathroom, to feed, cuddle and play with your baby.

4. Try to keep your baby's naps on track.

Although it is challenging, make sure that your baby sleeps enough. A rested baby is a happy baby, and missing a nap often sets a baby up for crankiness and tears -- both of which make holiday gatherings more stressful.

5. Join in the fun.

Remember to hand your baby over to your partner or a doting relative if you would like to enjoy the festivities baby-free. Have a glass of egg nog (if you drink) and indulge in some yummy pie. Sit back and talk to someone you love whom you haven't seen in a long time.

Sign-up for an informational interview, during which I will ask you about your experiences as a mom, and recieve a free session as a 'thank you' gift!

*This article was first published in 2006.

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Copyright ©2005, 2009 Significant Self Claudia Heilbrunn
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