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Set aside alone time for you and your husband each week.
Find a good baby-sitter.
Remember that your husband can't read your mind: tell him how you are feeling and what you are thinking.
Look into your husband's eyes at least once a day.
Don't butt in: let dad find his own way with your baby (especially if you want your husband to share in the child care).
If things feel really bad, consult with a marriage counselor or life coach.
Have sex in the afternoon, before you get too tired.
Don't force sex before you feel ready.
Have family time instead of alternating as childcare with your husband.
Remember why you fell in love in the first place.
Remember to cuddle and kiss.
Set aside time for yourself and have your husband do the same - you both need time to replenish your resources.
Although you may only feel the urge to cuddle with and kiss your baby, save some cuddles and kisses for your spouse.
Be patient, change is slow.
Aim to have a date with your partner (without your baby) once a week or, if need be, every other week.
Put yourself in your husband's shoes when a difficulty arises; even if you end up disagreeing it is important to see where he's coming from.
Accept that some marital unrest is often part of becoming a parent (and a part of married life). If you stay connected, the discord will pass and the tensions will diminish.
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Copyright ©2005, 2009 Significant Self Claudia Heilbrunn
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