The Scene:

Your baby is 2 (or 3, or 4, or 5, etc.) months old and your maternity leave is over. You are expected back at the office, and are worried about how returning to work will impact both your life and your child. Although you may want to continue to breastfeed, you have not sorted out how (where?) to pump at work, and are afraid to speak to your boss about your needs. The environment in which you work is often intense and demanding. It is not particularly supportive of new moms.

What's a mom to do?

1. Be AWARE of your feelings so that you can both experience them and sort them through:

The feelings that are most destructive are the ones you repress. Allow yourself both to be who you are and to have your honest reactions to the challenges that arise. Know that many other moms are having identical reactions to similar circumstances.

2. ACCEPT both your feelings and your current situation. Come to terms with your:

3. Take ACTION to create your ideal work situation:

Step 1: Create, in your mind's eye, your ideal work scenario. Think of everything you would like to be in place (e.g., your ideal hours, days, times to pump, degree of business trips, etc.).

Step 2: List your needs on a piece of paper. Create 2 columns: negotiable requests (I'd like to come in at 10:00 AM instead of 9:00 AM) and non-negotiable requirements (I want a private place to pump breast milk).

Step 3: Make an appointment with your boss (and with human resources if need be) to discuss your needs and desires. When you meet, not only explain to him/her your needs, but also ask your boss to state his/her own.

Step 4: Don't make decisions on the spot. Take time to process the response of your boss to your requests.

Step 5: Determine if this job is right for you.

Most likely, some of your needs will be met, while others will not be. If you feel that the pros of your job outweigh the cons:

Focus on accepting your choice and on the positive aspects of your work.

If your non-negotiable requirements are not met, decide whether your job is worth it. If things feel too wrong for you to continue in your current work environment:

Take concrete steps -- with your partner (if you have one) -- to figure out a work scenario which better suits your family's needs.

If changes need to be made, it may take time before everything feels exactly as you want.

Remember: if you work step by step, day by day, to create your ideal life. you will feel good about yourself for living in integrity with your ideals and for moving in the right direction.

Join me on August 16th and "meet" other new moms at my free Significant Self tele-mommy group!

In August, our topic will be: Anxiety and Motherhood

Time: 11:00 AM Eastern; 10:00 AM Central; 7:00 AM Mountain; 8:00 AM Pacific

The tele-mommy group takes place monthly via a mommy teleconference call and enables moms from all over the world both to connect with each other and to share their insights, wisdom, experience and strength.

To find out more about this group, click here!

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