Put One Foot in Front of the Other: Life as a New Mom

Getting out of bed:

There are certain days when I want to do nothing but stay in bed and, if I feel up to it, read a novel. Being a mom, this fantasy is just not a possibility. I have a daughter whom I take care of and unless I get out of bed and act like a mom, I am shirking the responsibility that I took on when I became pregnant with my child.

So what should you, a new mom, do when the prospect of getting out of bed -- let alone feeding, caring for, and playing with a baby -- overwhelms?

To quote a song from "Santa Claus is Coming to Town":

Put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking cross the floor. Put one foot in front of the other and soon you'll be walking out the door.

What this means is that you have to get up and go through the actions of your day. While you acknowledge and accept how tired or low you may feel, the only chance you have of feeling better is to take action to help yourself to feel well.

What actions should you take?

First, make sure that you can have a bit of time for yourself (when your baby is sleeping, perhaps?) during which you devote yourself to self-care.

  • If you are overwhelmed because you are exhausted, take a nap.
  • If you have been holding down your feelings in an attempt to be a "perfect" mom, write in a journal or sit quietly and allow yourself to feel whatever you feel.
  • If you feel low because you have been working so hard (parenting and/or at your job), do something that you love, but haven't done for a while (read a novel, take a walk, exercise).
  • If you feel in need of some tender love and care, go and get it (take a bath with a candle, get a manicure and/or pedicure, call your best friend and chat).

    • If you have felt crappy for a while, it may be time to ask yourself some important questions about what's getting you down.

  • Are you taking care of your baby without taking care of yourself?
  • Do you presently resent any person in your life (e.g., your husband for not doing enough, your baby for taking away your former life, your boss for demanding so much of your time)?
  • Are you devoting at least some of your time to activities that are just for you?
  • Do you have enough interaction with close female friends and/or other new moms?
  • Do you like how you're spending your days?
  • Do you have enough help?
  • Are you sleeping enough?


    • Once you determine the answer to these questions (and to any other questions that strike you), you can begin to remedy the situation and to feel better day to day. If answering the above questions doesn't impact your state of mind, it may help to consult with a therapist or life coach to deal with deeper, more intransigent, issues.

    Remember: you deserve to thrive in your life as a new mom!



    *******************************
    Here are the full lyrics to the song; they are more profound than I had realized as a child!

    Put one foot in front of the other
    And soon you'll be walking cross the floor.
    Put one foot in front of the other
    And soon you'll be walking out the door.

    You never will get where you're going
    If you never get up on your feet.
    Come on, there's a good tail wind blowing
    A fast walking [MOM] is hard to beat.

    Put one foot in front of the other
    And soon you'll be walking cross the floor.
    Put one foot in front of the other
    And soon you'll be walking out the door.

    If you want to change your direction,
    If your time of life is at hand;
    Well, don't be the rule, be the exception;
    A good way to start is to stand.

    Put one foot in front of the other
    And soon you'll be walking cross the floor.
    Put one foot in front of the other
    And soon you'll be walking out the door.

    If I want to change the reflection
    I see in the mirror each morn.
    You mean that it's just my election
    To vote for a chance to be reborn.

    Put one foot in front of the other
    And soon you'll be walking cross the floor.
    Put one foot in front of the other
    And soon you'll be walking out the door.

    * If you feel too depressed to go about your day, consult with a trained therapist or physician to see if you are suffering from Post-Partum Depression. Don't try to handle it alone!

    ________________________________________________

    Copyright ©2005, 2009 Significant Self Claudia Heilbrunn
    All rights in all media reserved.
    The content of My Significant Self may be forwarded in full without special permission provided it is used for nonprofit purposes and full attribution and copyright notice are given. For other purposes, please contact Claudia Heilbrunn.
    My Significant Self is published bi-monthly by Claudia Heilbrunn of Significant Self.

    Brought to you by: