The Spirit of a Mom


When you're in the midst of diapers filled with too much poop, spit-up and a crying child, it's hard to think about your spirit.

Did you ever think of it before?

I know that I didn't. Not to say that it didn't exist. When I held my newborn in my arms or sat with her at the water watching the boats go by (with her shouting "Boat! Boat!"), I felt a sense of peace that was hard for me to come by in "real" life. My days were filled with the ins and outs of new motherhood; yet there were these moments of clarity and calm, moments when I knew that everything was going to be alright, that I was safe, secure and sane.

I always knew about emotions and intellect, but spirituality was something with which I was not consciously familiar. When I began to explore what it meant to be spiritual - knowing that, for me, it did not necessarily have to do with being religious - I went back to my Latin training and thought about the word from which spirit is derived: "Spirare", meaning to breathe. The realization that being spiritual (for me) had something to do with my ability to breathe (in both the literal and metaphoric senses) felt right. My emotions and my intellect are things that are contained inside of myself, while my breath comes in from the outside and goes from my insides out to you and the world. It's what keeps me connected, whether I think about it or not, to the universe and to all people.

Sometimes, as a new mom, I felt isolated and alone in my struggle to get through my days and to make everything work as I wanted: get my baby to sleep, get out of the house, take a shower, go to the gym, take a break. When I focused on my spirit - on breathing in and breathing out, on taking in, and treating myself with, the love and care that I deserve, while also caring for and loving my child and others with whom I made contact - my racing brain calmed down and my feeling of anxiety, pressure and encapsulation diminished


Ways to Seek Spirit: Suggestions From a Few of My Clients

0 Minutes

  • Breathe deeply and slowly. Inhale whatever you need (calm, confidence, connection, freedom); exhale whatever you need lifted from your heart/mind (anxiety, doubt, loneliness, stress). Repeat doing this; focus on your breath and your words.


    • 15 Minutes or Less

  • Sit in a room, close your eyes, breathe slowly and deeply, and listen to music you love (clients' favorites include: Bach, Handel, gospel music and George Winston). Focus your attention on the music -- follow the notes and let your body move if it feels the urge. If your mind is racing with thoughts, try to shift your focus to what you hear. Whenever your mind returns to your thoughts, notice it and bring it back again. If feelings come up, let them. Feel who you are right now, today.


  • Sit in a room or a bathtub with a candle before you. Watch the flame: notice how it moves, flickers, gets long and then short; notice how many colors are within the flame and the halo that surrounds it. Is the flame giving off light? Can you see its rays coming towards you? Imagine that they are, that you are filled with burning clarity and light. If your thoughts take hold of your brain, notice them and shift your focus back to the flame.


    • With Your Baby

  • Go to a museum and look at the art (even just a painting or two). Take in the image before you; let your mind go to wherever it is led. Focus your attention on what you are seeing while you breathe deeply, and leave your rational brain behind. What do you see? What feelings does the image bring up? The image you are looking at portrays a truth: what is yours right now? Keep breathing - let your mind wander and your spirit be filled.


  • Take your child to the water -- a river, ocean or beach. Watch the ripples and take in the vastness of what you see. Breathe in and out. Take in the magnitude and greatness, while you let go of the mental obsessions that impact your life. Notice the ripples on the water's surface -- how they're blown by winds and go in a direction they are meant to take.

    • The ways in which you can foster your spirit -- your ability to breathe and to feel at peace in the world -- are endless, as are the benefits. Take some time, and nourish your Self today!

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